GAME OF LIFE CAREER CARDS DRIVER

But The Credit Goes To Your Male Colleague!вЂќ вЂњDonвЂ™t Win The Nobel Prize! (We are just being realistic. These reveal your achievements! Examples include: While blue plastic husband pegs become silver foxes, your own plastic peg starts to disappear because society deems you invisible.ДЄt the end of the game, turn over any LIFE Tiles youвЂ™ve collected. Once you pass the вЂњYouвЂ™re Over The Hill!вЂќ space (your 38th birthday) you will start experiencing ageism in addition to sexism! You are now an old hag. Should you land on вЂњ#MeTooвЂќ ( 1 in 3 chance), dissociate for the rest of the game. Or, if you land on вЂњYouвЂ™re Fired Because You Spoke Up in a Meeting and While You Thought You Were Being Assertive, They Thought You Were Being A Total B!вЂќ lose your Salary and Career Cards for three turns, flip the board in anger, and become filled with shame.Д®very time you land on вЂњMust Be That Time Of The Month!,вЂќ do not collect your salary for one turn because you clearly canвЂ™t think straight. There are spaces on the board where your Career and Salary may change suddenly.ДЇor example, if you land on вЂњ Global Pandemic Sets Women In The Workforce Back 35 Years!,вЂќ give back your Salary Card, trade your Career Card for a Stay-At-Home-Mom Card, and quietly give up on your dreams. When you land on вЂњBuy a House,вЂќ lose a turn because you are getting mansplained to about mortgages. If you do land on вЂњBaby!вЂќ spaces, you are a selfish bitch who only cares about her kids. If you never land on any вЂњBaby!вЂќ spaces, you are a selfish bitch who only cares about her own interests. Or,Д«) Keep your Career and Salary Cards, but pay 98% of your Salary for childcare costs. Whenever you land on a вЂњBaby!вЂќ space, add a blue or pink plastic peg to your car.Д®ach time you acquire a Baby! peg, either:ДЄ) Trade your Career and Salary Cards in for a Stay-At-Home-Mom Card.

Add two to five grey cat pegs to your car. (We assume you are going Lesbo to pick up guys? Cool.)ДЎвЂ“5: Die an old maid.

GAME OF LIFE CAREER CARDS DRIVER

If you land onвЂ¦Д© or 10: Add a blue peg to the driverвЂ™s seat of your plastic car, because your husband is a better driver than you.Д§ or 8: Add a blue peg, but your husband will eventually leave you for someone half his age.Д¦ or 7: Add a pink peg. When you get to the вЂњMarriageвЂќ space, stop and spin the spinner. Whichever Salary Card you get, deduct 20% from it, as you can still only expect to make $0.80 cents to the dollar that men make. If the card says вЂњDick RequiredвЂќ you can never choose this career. If the card says вЂњDegree Required,вЂќ you cannot choose this career unless you go to College. ItвЂ™s so simple that even girls can get it (but that will not stop us from explaining the rest of the game to you!)ДЄt the start of the game, have another player fan out the Career Cards face down and choose one. Spin the spinner and move your plastic car the indicated number of spaces. It must be pink, or else you will get pulled over by the gender police.Д¬hoose who goes first by calling up a boy in your class and having him rank the players based on cuteness. This may be hard to decide because none of you are good at math.Д®ach player picks a little plastic car to move around the board. Fun for all ages, but younger and cuter players have an advantage.Д¬hoose one player to be the banker. To have it all (brains, beauty, kids and career) but also somehow make it seem effortless!ДўвЂ“6 middle-school girls.

What Girls Can Really Expect! by Milton Bradley

Game of life career cards